Are you someone who appears happy on the outside while hiding feelings of sadness, overwhelm, frustration or even grief inside? These are what I call ‘trapped emotions’. It’s all fine and dandy to “fake it til you make it” but if you don’t have an outlet for the real emotions you’re suppressing, you could be creating dis-ease. The dis-ease builds or festers until it either creates physical pain, illness or mental outrage.
There are many ways to effectively release tension, but in my experience all require honesty with yourself. Admitting everything isn’t “perfect” and neither are you, is essential. None of us are perfect (although some like to think so). We’re all on a journey in life learning by experience. Contrast is what teaches us what we don’t want or what we do want in life. How much contrast is showing up for you?
Learning effective ways to ‘release steam’ within you, without affecting others, is something in my opinion, we should all learn at an early age. Volatile people that go from one emotion quickly into a polar opposite emotion may release negative energy quickly by shouting or physically acting out. Although it may be effective for them, the people around them are left hurt and confused. Passive aggressive personalities are more subtle but can still be harmful and often not that effective.
Are you in or familiar with a relationship where one is always seems to be yelling? Does the other hold silence and accepts or contains blame? Not a good scenario! Eventually the more docile person will show harmful effects of such a relationship.
So what are healthier ways to access negative emotions and still be happy?
- Exercise is a great physical release of body tension but doesn’t necessarily release mental tension.
- EFT – Emotional Freedom Technique has been proven to be highly effective. Google or Youtube have lots of demonstration on this. (click here to learn more)
- Write down your feelings. Keeping a diary or journal and getting feelings from inside your head onto the paper can be therapeutic. Do this without judgement, just write what you feel.
- Confronting the situation, with good communication skills that don’t criticisze, blame or condemn any specific person is very beneficial. In other words, talk about your feelings and how “the situation” makes you feel, respect one another for these feelings and come to a better conclusion.
- Talk to yourself. No, you’re not ‘crazy’ if you talk to yourself, especially if it helps you deal with your internal emotions. Learn to voice your thoughts and feelings and often you can come to a solution that relieves the bad feeling.
- Ask for help. If you don’t have effective ways right now to access your feelings or express them, ask for help. Life coaching is extremely effective since good coaches are trained to objectively support and guide you with numerous methods that help. If your feelings are too deep or affecting your mental health talk to your physician and ask for a referral to a psychiatrist or mental health worker.
Don’t hold your emotions inside a minute longer. You want to be happy on the outside AND the inside. Your health depends upon your happiness. Be pro-active in your health care. Eat healthy, exercise regularly and learn to communicate effectively.
Enjoy life! Money, relationships, success all depend on how happy you are as a whole person. You are physical, mental, emotional and spiritual energy in body. Each, and every part of you needs to be nurtured. You matter!
If you have other suggestions on effective ways to release your negative emotions please leave your comments below. Share what works for you and help someone along the way.
If you would like a free consultation to see if coaching is the answer for you contact me on this link.
Have a HAPPY day, week, year, lifetime!