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If you are experiencing negative emotions in regards to a specific person that you feel affected your life, I am here to share my story of how you may be able to eliminate your anger and resentment towards that person, and embrace love.

You are responsible for your own emotions and how you perceive your environment and experiences.  Learn to make the most of life by releasing all negative emotions, and embracing happiness, love, forgiveness, and all that is great!  As you release the anger the weight upon your shoulders, the bulk in the pit of your stomach, and the tension in your body that causes pain, depression, and eventually illness will dissipate.  You have the ability to live a life of complete happiness, the choice is yours.

Allow me to share one of my breakthroughs with you and give you a tool to release your learned beliefs.

My personal experience with my mother has been an emotional roller coaster ride for my entire life, until a year ago.  My mother has some very awesome qualities, and I believed has tried to live her life the best way she knew, however she embraces negativity and refuses to learn how to let go of these beliefs.  Consequently she lives with bitterness, and feels alone.  Is this how you want to live out your life?  Would you choose happiness and abundance if you knew how?  You are the only one that can make that choice.  Make a deliberate choice, here and now, to learn the techniques and processes to release the anger and embrace love.

A little bit of my background and how I learned to let go.
In my early years of childhood my father was in the armed forces and as a family we moved every 1 – 2 years.  I realize this was difficult for my mother, often living a great distance from her family and always having to meet new friends.  She was a social person and always seemed to attract friendships wherever she lived, yet moving constantly was a hardship.

Shortly after I turned 11 my father retired from the armed forces and we settled in the Okanagan Valley, British Columbia.  My parents had lived there in the early years of their marriage and always wanted to return, so we moved from Ontario out to BC.  My brother (6 years older), my cat, and I drove across Canada in our “Acadian” car towing a tent trailer to find a home prior to my father following a few months later.  For the first few months while house hunting we camped and discovered our new territory.  We spent hours swimming, beaching, eating fresh fruit from the orchards, and looking for the ideal home.  Mom fell in love with a house 7 miles out of town, perched on a hill overlooking Skaha Lake with acreage all around.  This was to be her haven and we all looked forward to settling down.  At the end of the summer my father joined us, followed by the moving van, and we moved in.  This is where my story really begins…

With the start of school, my brother began high school in Penticton, and I began grade 6 in Okanagan Falls.  At this time, the OK Falls school was 3 rooms with 3 grades to each room.  My grade consisted of 11 classmates.  A far cry from the Ottawa city school I had last attended!  Most of these kids had grown up together and they were not the least accepting of a “city slicker” who knew nothing about the country ways of doing things.  I was not only bullied by my classmates, but by my teacher too.  It was a year from H— for me, and one I will never forget.  The only saving grace was the fulfilled promise that “when we move to the country you can have a horse”, and my old horse Goldie was the perfect beginner horse for a newbie like me.  We quickly bonded, and she was my best and only friend in that year.

We settled in to our daily living, adjusting to the changes.  My brother had similar difficulties adjusting with his school in regards to being an “outcast”.  He chose to isolate and found comfort with his aquariums of fish, reading, and hiking the hills around our home.  My mother who had always been a stay at home mom performed the household chores, canning fruit, cleaning, gardening, moving my horse from spot to spot for feed, and entertaining relatives who came to visit often.  My father found a job as a salesperson in a furniture/music store, which he detested but never complained about.  There had been, and continued to be tension between my mother and brother, and very little interaction between my mother and father.  As my loneliness and insecurity in my school increased, so did the tension between my mother and I.  My mother was always a person who chose to point out the negative actions of each of us, as well as anyone else, because in her mind if you couldn’t see what you were doing wrong then you wouldn’t know how to change and do it right.  We never received compliments, only criticism, because that “made you stronger”.  Gradually she became more bitter, resentful, and attracted more and more negativity into her existence.  Her nagging persisted, in fact increased, thus creating a very unhealthy atmosphere.  As I became 13 and began going to school in Penticton, necessitating the need to make new friends and find my niche, I long for more independence.  Every new friend I brought home to meet my parents, my mother disapproved of.  Nothing I did, and no one I knew were quite “good enough”.  My brother left home and joined the Navy.  My father changed jobs and spent more time either working over-time or was in the garden where he could isolate.  Home life became a very negative environment and finally came to a head one day in November, when I was the age of 14.  There was a fight and my father asked my mother to leave, if that was what she wanted.  Leave, she did, and because we were having such conflict at the time and I chose to stay with my father, my mother chose to blame me for the circumstances.  Suddenly I became the victim of years of anger, and resistance between my parents.
To make a long story short, my mother and I carried on through our lives, ignoring the hurt, anger, and grief that we had felt over my parents’ divorce.   I was raised to respect my parents, and never really discussed the pain or resentment that I felt.  The years passed by.  My mother re-married when I was 31, and I developed a bond with my step father.  Six years ago, when it became evident that my step-father was in the middle stages of alzheimer’s and my mother could no longer cope with their responsibilities, the decision was made (the only one my step-dad would accept) that they would come to live with my husband and I, in a basement suite. Well, my step father had a stroke 6 months later, and his children chose to place him in a nursing home 6 hours away from where we lived.  My hands were tied legally, as his son had power of attorney.  The injustice of all of this made me extremely angry.  I loved my step-father, but I was forced to fight for my mother’s legal rights.  My mother had suffered a mental break down when they moved in with us, and never quite recovered and she was incapable of making any logical decision.  A division of family with unresolved emotional feelings occurred once again.  It was a time of deep reflection for me.  I have always had a deep connection with my inner spirit, and thankfully it has held me strong over the years.  This was a time to re-connect with myself and my intuition, and to start following the path of healing, resolving life long issues, and releasing all the anger.

Through all of this, I realized that my reaching out to care for the two of them was a life long desire of feeling the need to be loved and accepted by my mother for her anger and resentment of feeling as though I were the reason for her divorce from my father.

It wasn’t until my studies with the law of attraction, meditation, and releasing my negative resistance that I allowed myself to live in the moment with positive emotion.   I was raised to believe that criticism was “good for you”, it made you strong.  That was, and still is still my mother’s mindset and no one can change her belief but herself.  But thankfully I learned how I could change my mindset. I can live with happiness and joy. I can embrace love, not fight for it.  I can get excited and enthusiastic and feel wonderful every day.

After almost 40 years of living with feelings of guilt, and a lack of loving myself, I finally accepted the fact that I was not responsible for either of my parents experiences or emotions.  This was a turning point for me, and it is the lesson I wish to share with you.

I made a deliberate choice to write a “Gratitude Journal” to release my anger, resentment, and feelings of lack of love and embrace love, acceptance and forgiveness.

I wrote every night after meditating on my childhood and the good memories.  When I felt the “buts” or the “negative” experiences arise, I would thank those experiences for the lessons they gave me, and then I would continue focusing on the good memories and the positive experiences I gained.  When I completed my journal, I organized it into chapters of particular experiences, such as my love for water and my mother teaching me how to swim, or the wonderful camping trips we would take to various lakes and waterfalls.  I designed the gratitude journal into an easy to read format, and gifted it to my mother.

Despite the loss of memory, my mother keeps this book by her side and reads it often.  Each time the words come across to her as though it were a new experience, and the gratitude and love I share through these words give her happiness for that moment.  I wrote this journal to support myself in releasing the anger and embracing the love which it has done, but it also has given my mother love and joy to embrace in her final years.

If there is anyone in your life that has stirred up emotions that are negative, I urge you to “release the anger, embrace the love” and give your self a gift of a gratitude journal.

Wendy MacKay

If you have the desire to learn more about starting a gratitude journal, how to release your negative emotions, how to discover your passion, or just how to, then I urge you to take action now by opting in for my consultation so we may discuss whether we can move forward. Go to the opt-in for a free meditation and 30 minute consultation, enter your name and email address, and I will contact you personally.